Sunset and Comfort

Frances and I enjoyed tonight's sunset in the relatively balmy December air. That is, I enjoyed the sunset while Frances basked in the warmth and security of a lap after last night's stray tomcat trauma. 

Hope through me...

Hope through me, God of Hope,

Or never can I know 

Deep wells and living streams of hope,

And pools of overflow.

Flood me with hope today

For souls perverse, undone,

For sinful souls that turn away, 

Blind sunflowers from their sun.

O blessed Hope of God,
Flow through me patiently,
Until I hope for everyone
As Thou hast hoped for me.
- Amy Carmichael -

Photos from the backyard of our recent doctoring trip airbnb rental.

"...we return glory, honor, and praise, with all thankfulness..."

Thanksgiving looks different this year for many of us. For my family chronic illness continues to wage war in our bodies making for a very low key, small celebration. Yet our hearts are grateful.

As I glance over the history of the first four years at Plymouth, my trials seem small in comparison. I am not starving. I have not lost half my family members to illness. I do not face danger on every side. My clothes are not in rags. If they could praise God for His faithfulness, I most certainly can!

"...having these many signs of God's favor and acceptance, we thought it would be a great ingratitude if secretly we should content ourselves with private thanksgiving for that which by private prayer could not obtain [referring to a day of fasting and prayer for the necessary rain in a time of serious drought that the Pilgrims' crops needed to prevent complete starvation,  summer of 1623]. And therefore another solemn day was set apart and appointed for that end; wherein we returned glory, honor, and praise, with all thankfulness to our God who dealt so graciously with us."

- Edward Winslow -

A Blessed Thanksgiving to you!

P.S. I did not plan ahead with a photo for today, so here is one from my gallery archives. First brush drawing, April 2020.

Pain an Idol?

"Don't let your trial become an idol." That is roughly what Damaras Carbaugh said to me over the radio waves one day six years ago.* No, she didn't use my name. God added my name to Damaras' words as the impact of them settled into my mind. "Don't let your trial become an idol, Elsa."

An idol is something we revere. It is something that consumes our heart, mind and soul. It is something that takes precedence over all objects, events and relationships. It is something we take pride in.

How can something bad become a thing of pride to us? Watch a group of children showing off their badges of honor in the form of bumps and bruises, and you will see pride in something that originally was bad. We adults do the same thing in a more sophisticated way. Well, sometimes we are more sophisticated.

Pride in our trial breeds selfishness. A heart consumed with self has little room for others. Selfishness destroys relationships. We put ourselves before others, and we pull away from God who sees each person's pain with an equal measure of compassion.

"Don't let your trial become an idol, Elsa." I have heard this phrase now and again over the years. The warning has not come over the radio these times but rather from the small voice of my pricked conscience. I have put my trial higher than others’ trials. This has lead to strained relationships. I have let pain gain control of my thoughts. This has lead to distance from my Creator, Savior and Sustainer. Yes, a trial can become an idol.

Nevertheless, idols can be destroyed. Through repentance they can be thrown into the fire of mercy. Forgiveness can replace hurt. The Savior can take back His rightful throne and heal our sinful souls as, by His enabling grace we gaze on Him, not our trials.

*For the original quote and a good dose of godly exhortation that will stir your soul to action, listen to the Revive Our Hearts podcast titled "Walk with Me with Damaris Carbaugh," originally aired in May of 2014. This quote comes from the third part, "Goodbye to Me," but the whole series is well worth a listen.

Learning

 

I'm definitely learning something each time I pick up my watercolor brush. Can you tell which was my first attempted pinecone?

The Best is Yet To Be

Listening in on one side of a telephone conversation, I heard Mom encouraging a friend with the words, "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (Jesus  speaking in John 16:33). In the next room I added my two cents to the conversation (quietly, to Hannah), "The best is yet to be!" Then I laughed. Boy, is that an understatement!

Pictured: sunset over the lake, summer 2020

Roasted Squash Seeds

I think I received a bit of Grandma R's Depression Era thrift. While I don't keep a roll of used cling wrap handy, I do like milking our vitamin rich produce for all it's worth. Scrubbing vegetables rather than peeling, saving a particularly nice cabbage core for Mom to put in her chicken stock, and freezing shredded zucchini to be slowly caramelized on the stove top with a dash of salt and garlic powder for a winter vegetable are a few of my versions of thrift mixed with nutrition. My use of squash has all other forms of thrift beat, though. While we used to keep only the sweet and vibrant squash flesh, roasted, in our freezer, I have now added squash skins and seeds. 

The skins get frozen after roasting wedges of squash until perfectly tender. Scoop out the delicious flesh to eat right away or freeze, remove areas of scabs and scars from the squash, and enjoy as a lower carb version of squash. I especially like this for noon or breakfast, when my body prefers fewer carbs but my palate wants the comfort of squash.

Note No.1: Butternut squash has a hard, waxy skin and is not at all nice for eating. Buttercup, hubbard, kabocha and many others are the way to go.

Note No. 2: My family thinks I'm a bit strange to eat squash skins. I won't judge you if you think the same.

Now for squash seeds. I follow basic principles as for roasting pumpkin seeds. 

Pick out seeds by hand from center of cut open squash. This is a less messy if done before scooping out the waste rather than picking through the waste to find the seeds. 

Place seeds in a bowl, cover in water, and squeeze through fingers to help release stringy flesh. Look out the window while you do this to pass the time enjoying your surroundings.

Drain and rinse in a colander.

Repeat the last two steps two or so more times until slime is mostly removed from seeds.

Optional: Place on a clean towel to dry overnight, or proceed to the next step. (See Note No. 3 below)

Place on backing pan, drizzle with a little olive oil and sprinkle with salt. You may add any spice at this point as well: cinnamon, chili, paprika, etc.

Stir, then spread evenly in one layer over pan.

Roast at 300° F for 25-35 minutes, or until lightly golden and nutty in flavor.

Cool, then pack away for later snacking.

Note No 1: Eat husk and all. The flavor is much like popcorn.

Note No. 2: I freeze these in jars for winter snacking to avoid any mold growth from residual moisture. 

Note No. 3: Each squash and pumpkin has a unique seed with various textures and flavors. The hubbard squash seeds shown above are our largest and least tender. I find they are more tender if not air dried before roasting. If you are entering into squash seed snacks with trepidation, stick with the smaller, less husky seeds.

Nature Journal: October 4

 

October 22: At Work on Begonias

Home Grown Yarn

Twenty-five to thirty years after shearing, our wool is becoming yarn. For as long as I can remember, there have been grain sacks full of our Lincoln-Finn sheep's wool on the top shelf in our garage. At long last we are getting it spun by a local mill. Below is only a small fraction of the beautiful yarn that is still in process of being spun.

My test swatch of white lamb's wool with store bought wool for comparison. 

One Year Old

Mom's Birthday Gift

We celebrated Mom's birthday over two days this year. On her real birthday we four prairie dwellers celebrated in quiet ways while Dad recovered from a bug. A couple days later the lakes area family joined us for a party made lively by a nearly one year old. This was Mom's first year to hold a grandchild at her birthday party. She waited a long time for that gift, yet he was worth the patient wait.

There are many more promised gifts for which she and we wait, knowing that the One who promised is faithful.

"The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."

- Lamentations 3:25-26 -

Beginia Painting in Process

 

My Light and My Salvation

I normally prefer natural light for my photography, but this early morning when I am awake with symptoms, I am enjoying the beauty of this decor in golden lamplight from my post on a heating pad. Besides, a light bulb is all the light there is at this time of day.

Speaking of light, there is a Light that illumines the darkest of my nights. Symptoms mixed with brain fog and deep fatigue often lead to terrible anxiety. In those times I often speak these fighting words to remind my heart of the One who fights for me and is victorious:

"The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid... Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident."

- Psalm 27:1, 3 -

How grateful I am to have tucked these words into my memory fifteen years ago. God knew I would need them today.

Not Greatly Shaken

Few of us have experienced an earthquake, but those who have testify to a disorienting, fearful experience. A friend of mine was overseas in an area hit by an earthquake several years back. While she was not at the devastated epicenter, the quake caused all in her area to panic and go into a mode of fear for the next weeks. While we may not have lived through a physical earthquake, many of us have lived or are living through a disorienting experience and know the resulting deep fear.

Earlier I wrote about Negative Truth versus Greater Truth. Negative Truths are those that bind us in fear and despair as we look down and in. Greater Truth leads to peace and joy as we look up at Truth Himself. One negative truth is that we are shaken by our trials. The greater Truth is that "I will not be greatly shaken" (Psalm 62:1). Shaken, yes, but not greatly. God won't let us be shaken out of our salvation in Him. He has the strength to get us through every hard thing and bring us out stronger in Him on the other side.

Photo: color play from April 2020

Fragrant Cloud

This rose is aptly named. I will let your imagination fill in the heady essence that should accompany this photo.

Beautiful Queen Elizabeth

The last roses of summer (autumn, really) are unique from summer blossoms in their shape and color. I am no botanist, but my assumption is that cooler days and less sun play a role in this blossom change. What a beauty each individual garden rose is, no matter the season.

First Snow

Walk in the Woods: Flowers and Ferns

Walk in the Woods: Trees

Autumn Drive

 

Greater Truth

The last months I have experienced challenging health set backs that have brought me close to the door of despair. The refrain in my mind has been, "This is too much for me. I can't take this anymore." Any health expert would say that these negative thoughts are a sure way of staying sick or even getting sicker. But what do you do when your negative thoughts are true? Cover them up with a band aid of a smile? (Yes, you will see me smiling these days, but keep reading to find out why I can.) Say the opposite of what is true and hope that somehow things will magically change? How about something better - replace those Negative Truths with Greater Truth.

I have been seeing a lot of empty words thrown out to those going through hard times. Statements like, "You've got this, " or "You are enough," abound. A few months ago a friend pointed out to me another common phrase that is lacking in truth. "God won't give you more than YOU can handle." While this is partly true (see I Cor. 10:13 and how it pertains to temptation), the phrase lacks all that makes it true. The Negative Truth is WE can't handle this life in our human strength. The Greater Truth is that GOD'S sufficient strength is ours for the having (I Cor. 12:9).

Negative Truths are those that come from looking down and looking in. Greater Truth comes from looking up at our Father.

The same friend who showed me the self focused lie in this phrase created a counter-phrase, a Greater Truth, to say in those times of white-knuckle need. Here I have slightly altered her words to make a tidy little rhyme: "When life is more than you can bear, remember God is always there."

"...a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

- II Corinthians 10:12-13 -

Family History

A bit of family history resurfaced this summer as Mom sorted her fabric closet - Grandma R's disassembled maternity hospital stay housecoat. This thrifty housewife planned to remake the fabric into some other usable item, no doubt. Now my cousin has been given that challenge and our closet is a little emptier.

July 28: Sand and Water Baby

Sunday Projects: Sketching Succulents and Crocheting Lace

 

Sunday Project: Pillow Lace

A few favorite things:

Creating and making my bed with knit and crocheted lace. 

Destashing our basement of craft supplies.

Sharing the creative fruit of these years of illness with friends.

Remembering God's promises and sharing them with others.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

- Matthew 11:28-30 -

Sunday Project: Little Knit Hats

I believe I've written about Sunday projects in the past: handwork that is purely for the joy of creating to enjoy my Creator on the day He set aside for rest every week. Here is one such project that I began in January and carried on into this spring until part of my yarn stash was depleted. These hats will soon be packed into Operation Christmas Child gift boxes by Maren and Jason to be sent to little girls in developing countries. With them will be offered the greatest Gift that came that first Christmas.

Note: This was not only Sunday knitting, but also my sole project on our February trip to Florida. 

Pre-Frost Bouquets

 

Color Play

 

More Begonias

 

Praire Drive

While Dad and Mom were vacationing in the Black Hills of South Dakota recently, Hannah and I were holding down the fort, catching up on some neglected to-do lists, and enjoying lots of audio book listening. To get a break from our tasks, we took a prairie drive one afternoon. Here are views a few miles from home.

Waterfowl production area

Straw bales with sprouting wheat

Ancient and highly attractive combine